dead daffodils

entry picture


Daffodils on my table

stand in a coffee pot.

The pot is cream and gold and green,

so pretty, I use it as a vase.


The daffodils on my table

never bloomed.

But they are dying.

Maybe it’s too warm.


I bought them from a roadside pail.

They stood proud, gold and green;

full of promises suppressed.


Now, fat buds are soft,

rotting on the stem.

Smelling sour as love.

They never opened


I think I’ll leave them on my table


Just to remind me.





◄ missing mum

a st agnes tragedy ►


Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 24th Jan 2012 12:23

I always like your mind, Ms Oxley. The last stanza is very Miss Haversham - deliberate soul-destruction.

Your personal photo is fab.

Profile image

Anthony Emmerson

Mon 23rd Jan 2012 18:14

"Pail" indeed! What's wrong with bucket? You're getting more "hyacinth" than Foxglove!"
Leaves a bitter aftertaste this.


Profile image


Thu 19th Jan 2012 21:07

I've had this happen a few times too... : /

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Thu 19th Jan 2012 16:34

Ahhh right..well fancy that.

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Thu 19th Jan 2012 14:02

Have changed a couple of things. Got rid of "soggy". And Ray, you are right, the sour love is the point.

Profile image

Ray Miller

Thu 19th Jan 2012 11:46

Like it, Ann.You probably need a semi-colon after gold and green.

Yet still they are dying.

That phrase sounds wrong.still dying? Something like "They die slowly" would be better, I think.
I liked "sour as love", thought it was the crux of the poem. I think the next 2 lines are superfluous, though, and the ending more pointed without them.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Thu 19th Jan 2012 10:16

I like this Ann...but a little quibble...sour as 'love'? Feels discordant to me that. There's a lovely alliteration to the title, and I love that last verse

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message