I’m stuck for what to buy for my 11 year old

So big sister prises herself off Facebook

to help spend my money 

(an honourable cause, in her books)

and suddenly we’re flicking through the years

as she remembers the day Santa died

a friend’s house, a dinner table

how adult and child laughed as they stuck the knives in

how she’d wanted to cry, but joined in

ten years of innocence turned to gullibility

like wine to water,

such a hard fact to swallow.

Months later she’d learned too that happiness could be faked

smiles cut and pasted, sadness papered over

till time pressured cracks appeared and split life

in ugly lines you never chose

all the things you never wished or asked for…

 

And sometimes you’d like to find the words

explain why adults do the things they do

but where to start and where to end

and to what end

till silence seems the better choice

 

On page 186 we choose the perfect gift

the giant, magic, mega bubble

a thing she’s always dreamed of

Little sis, the geek, the reader

the dreamer, the poet

will get to stand inside her perfect world,

suspended for one moment in time

and though we’re not sure if she still believes

we’ll tiptoe round the spectrum of her dreams,

enjoy the beauty of her innocence

and imagine.