Tether

Sunday 7th September 2008 9:26 pm

I recently discovered some old poems of mine still on poetry.com, and I decided to share one with you, which I think I wrote back during my days of high school.

Tether

My future gleamed
With tomorrow's dawn
Golden and sweet
My dreams reborn.

You shut the blinds
Awakening yesterday's demise
My future vanishing
And the raven cries.

I huddle in the dark
Reaching for the light
Slipping through my fingers
Filling me with endless fright.

You wish me here
To stay beneath you
To remain a caged child
Making despair all I knew.

My love, life, and dreams
Pushed so far into the abyss
I will take back my soul
The emptiness I won't miss.

Comments

<Deleted User> (4281)

Sat 13th Sep 2008 02:47

Dear Melissa

Your poem does not sound if it was written yesterday. It applies to now days too. Still you did not stop dreaming and the circle of life progresses. I do see a lot of feelings and emotions running in your poem. This is natural and I thing the writer is more sensitive to any life events as the nature is more gentle then those who do not create an art in writing. I like your style. It shows deep feelings. Keep them coming. Nice poem indeed.

Thank you for commenting on my latest poem 'Who Was She?'

With my best wishes...:)
Zuzanna
xx

<Deleted User> (5646)

Tue 9th Sep 2008 19:43

Hi Melissa,
Yes you certainly dug deep for this one.
Metaphorically and literally it seems.
I know exactly what you mean by "awakening yesterdays demise."

Keep 'em comin', as they say.
Love Janet.x

Jeff Dawson

Mon 8th Sep 2008 20:39

Hi Melissa,

thanks for sharing, glad you dug it out. Might be a while back but from the heart as always, and as deep as you know I like it!

thanks for your messages, good to hear all okay & glad you liked Man in the Moon, Jeff :-)

darren thomas

Mon 8th Sep 2008 07:48

Hi Melissa - if I was to study your poetry at any advanced level, I would not fail to notice that you write about themes that are set deep inside a person's psyche. One way to articulate these emotions is to write about them, which you usually do with a raw emotion that is almost tangible.
I know you say this is an 'old one' and after I got over the lumps of the words ' awakening yesterdays' I fell into the poem's rhythm. I don't think those words are phonetically suitable because they have too many syllables to suit the iambic metre that runs throughout the rest of this poem. There must be synonyms of suitable words?

clarissa mckone

Mon 8th Sep 2008 01:17

Hi Melissa,
I enjoyed this one, and it reads so well! I understand the feelings too, reminds me of the man I was married to for 12 years or so. take care xx clarissa

Moira

Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:29

Angst, well explored and thankfully recovered. Glad it made an apperance here. I particularly enjoyed "You shut the blinds Awakening yestersay's demise"

Re-discover away!

Moira

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