Memories still haunt you in dreams

the worst ones aren't violent nor perverse.

The worst dreams are the ones you wish came true

they haunt you with De Ja Vu

subconscious samurai,

donning swords and Fu Manchu.

 

Kreuger retreated, he knew he met his match

because love is the most infectious illness one can catch.

It starts with a thought, a flicker, a moment

and envelopes you with self-surrendering entrapment.

 

We were in a Museum,

or maybe it was a mansion.

All I know is this:

you held my heart for ransom.

Even now when this painful time is over

you return like a movie villain

in the form of an emotional boulder.

I'm no Gollum, and you are not my precious

but I wish I were a Golem.

I'd break those stones

that break those bones

though my spirit is unbreakable

and though you did break my heart

my belief in love is unshakeable.

I've lived the life without it,

and I'm not going back.

So like an RPG beserker

I'm focused on my attack.

But this isn't a game

- although you treated it as such

it still...

isn't.

 

I get that you were hurt,

but did you need to hurt me?

My mum had only just died

and

I was already soaked in grief,

drowning in my own sorrow.

But you provided cupid

with a poison soaked arrow.

Shot at my heart

and penetrated my soul.

I thought that together

we could be whole.

 

 

You shared my worst fears

before I was ready to myself.

Attacking me from the back,

you operated in stealth.

 

But I'm still here

and I still love.

 

Just not you.