A Lovely Nightmare
Memories still haunt you in dreams
the worst ones aren't violent nor perverse.
The worst dreams are the ones you wish came true
they haunt you with De Ja Vu
donning swords and Fu Manchu.
Kreuger retreated, he knew he met his match
because love is the most infectious illness one can catch.
It starts with a thought, a flicker, a moment
and envelopes you with self-surrendering entrapment.
We were in a Museum,
or maybe it was a mansion.
All I know is this:
you held my heart for ransom.
Even now when this painful time is over
you return like a movie villain
in the form of an emotional boulder.
I'm no Gollum, and you are not my precious
but I wish I were a Golem.
I'd break those stones
that break those bones
though my spirit is unbreakable
and though you did break my heart
my belief in love is unshakeable.
I've lived the life without it,
and I'm not going back.
So like an RPG beserker
I'm focused on my attack.
But this isn't a game
- although you treated it as such
I get that you were hurt,
but did you need to hurt me?
My mum had only just died
I was already soaked in grief,
drowning in my own sorrow.
But you provided cupid
with a poison soaked arrow.
Shot at my heart
and penetrated my soul.
I thought that together
we could be whole.
You shared my worst fears
before I was ready to myself.
Attacking me from the back,
you operated in stealth.
But I'm still here
and I still love.
Just not you.