God plucks only a few for the vase of history,
from his garden of flowers and trees,
all different in petals and leaves.
She blossoms.
And everyone knows this flower grows better, the wetter the tears of human nature make the ground around her.
She catches the sun.
To rise from the earth.
Hello Amy. I like the poem, it's a nice conceit, the vase of history.The rhymes don't smack you in the face, either. If you don't mind suggestions: the 3rd line is not adding a great deal.
This flower grows better, the wetter the tears of human nature make the ground around her.
She catches the sun, the more that is done to her.
"make" and "done" are fairly lifeless verbs.I'd prefer "water the ground around her"
and some alternative to done.Can't think of one!
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Laura Taylor
Thu 14th Jul 2011 10:00
Wooo - love this, especially these lines:
This flower grows better, the wetter the tears of human nature make the ground around her.
She catches the sun, the more that is done to her.
Really resonates with me this.