Optimism

by Alison Smiles

Monday 20th June 2011 3:50 pm

This poem won’t feed the starving

Or even offer food for thought.

This poem won’t clothe the poor

The material is way too short.

This poem won’t shelter an orphan,

Or provide a cover for a widow line.

This poem won’t end dictatorship,

With one voice speaking one person’s rhymes

This poem won’t bring about world peace

Warfare will neither cease nor decrease.

This poem doesn’t know the answers,

When even the questions are obscure.

This poem won’t reduce greenhouse emissions

Even though it’s not a paper submission

This poem really won’t change the world,

But the writer just might.

Comments

Elaine Booth

Fri 24th Jun 2011 23:29

Great poem, Alison. Liked it a lot. X

Andy N

Tue 21st Jun 2011 08:17

it's a interesting one, alison must admit following on from the comments. i like the structure behind it certainly even thou it is a bit preachy for me in places, but certainly there is scope for edits to make it even better.

look forward to seeing what you do next with it certo. x

Isobel

Mon 20th Jun 2011 19:57

'Or even offer food for thought' - I'm not sure I'd agree with that Alison - your poem seems to have stirred feelings up in its readers.

You are right to say that poetry can't change anything - it's hard enough for individuals to do that. It does enable like minded people to connect though - which in some circumstances can be pretty marvellous.

I would agree with Julian's comments. The poem is so strong and could be even stronger just by a bit of trimming. I really enjoyed reading this. x

Julian (Admin)

Mon 20th Jun 2011 19:03

This poem has the potential to be a powerful classic, along the lines of, as Laura says, The Revolution will not be televised. It puts me mind, too, of Adrian Mitchell's poem whose title I forget but is more generally known by its repeating line, "tell me lies about Vietnam".
I - cheekily, I know, as it's your poem - would think about removing anything adverbial from it (e.g. 'even', 'just') and any forced rhymes (cease/decrease) as these IMHO reduce its power. Inspiring, Alison, truly. Don't leave it like this.