Untitled

You’ve gone again

but then I always knew you would

blown away by emptiness

the hollow rattle of it all

the words that never said enough

or never said at all

but fed upon themselves instead

 

now hope has gone the way that all things go

sunny side down

yolk hardened

like the setting sun

and yet for me

you left your mark

 

◄ The Yeung Sing Hotel

Memento ►

Comments

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Elaine Booth

Mon 9th May 2011 23:17

"and yet for me / you left your mark" - the loss you are communictaing is a very deep one. Hope it isn't a question of faith. But it feels like the loss of something very close. X

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Andy N

Tue 26th Apr 2011 08:16

Hi Isobel; - I really like this. There's a lot unsaid with this piece, and for me I didn't feel anything to do with love or romantic disappointment... sadness over something but not them.

Like in particular 'Hollow rattle' here but it's a well worked out piece certainly with a perfectly pitched ending. x

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Isobel

Sun 24th Apr 2011 21:39

Francine is correct - there is no title cos I didn't want a title. Thanks for reading anwyay. x

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Francine

Sun 24th Apr 2011 01:48

The title reflects the essence of what she is saying... ; )

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sat 23rd Apr 2011 23:04

don't you think it's worth having a title though ?

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 23rd Apr 2011 20:14

I like this too. I can hear your voice reading it somehow.

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 23rd Apr 2011 19:30

My initial thoughts were of love lost etc. However on further reading there is a sense of betrayal or possibly inevitability about the loss, unsurprising.
I like the image of words feeding on themselves, and the sunny side down expression. I'm glad you allowed comments because there is a bare-facedness about this short but almost cuttingly direct piece.

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Francine

Sat 23rd Apr 2011 18:01

I really like this for the fact that it is left up to the reader's interpretation.
You have expressed so well what we can all relate to in some sense.
For me, everything except 'but then I always knew you would'...
Hmmm... Inspiration? Faith?

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Isobel

Sat 23rd Apr 2011 17:37

I originally disabled comments cos I didn't want to explain this one - then realised that it was open to misinterpretation.

Could I just say for the record that it has nothing to do with love or romantic disappointment. x

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