It's all just words

Words on paper

Born: sign here

Words on paper

Love: Marriage: sign here

Words on paper

Careers: Paycheque: sign here

Words on paper

Tortured mind leads to me writing poetry

Words on paper

Death certificate

How insignificant

Words on paper

◄ Bastards


<Deleted User> (8951)

Mon 11th Apr 2011 15:21

Hi Melaine
this is a ace poem you'v hit the nail on the head...

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Wed 16th Mar 2011 22:03

Yep - the job's a guddun! Original and refreshing poetry Melanie - I enjoyed. x

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David Mac

Wed 16th Mar 2011 21:37

good work, Red, a tidy little poem that says it all: life, death, and the dumb words in between. x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 16th Mar 2011 11:01

I think this is your best yet, a real thing to say about universal experience, in your own unique way. IMO, the repetition is excellent as it highlights your basic idea perfectly.

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Andy N

Wed 16th Mar 2011 08:05

i do like the structure of this poem, melanie.. probably my favourite of yours so far and i think you work well towards the end...

i think steven is right on the 'me' too..

top stuff - keep em coming! x

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melanie coady

Wed 16th Mar 2011 07:35

thanks everyone xx

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Steve Regan

Tue 15th Mar 2011 22:47

A good idea with powerful symbolism, and taken fulll circle. A poem that says things worth saying about being human, being mortal, as the best poetry should.

<Deleted User> (6895)

Tue 15th Mar 2011 20:42

Flip! I nearly missed this pearler-neat little cracker!x

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Laura Taylor

Tue 15th Mar 2011 15:55

Rachel - I once saw/experienced a spiral sculpture up in the Green Fields at Glastonbury, in which the artist encouraged people to leave notes for 'absent friends'. It was the most heartbreaking set of notes/words that I've ever read in my life. By the time me and my mate had walked around into the middle, we were crying


Tue 15th Mar 2011 15:39

I liked this original approach to the papers that involve a person's life and by which we are sometimes defined x

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Rachel Bond

Tue 15th Mar 2011 15:30

i like the idea of insignificant words on paper,the insignificanceof life in all its beurocracy...

i once saw an exhibition of suicide notes...tragic last words all written with a last desperate hope to reach another person.
I think we deal too much in printed words these days and a word in print might hold more importance even though it is so depersonalised. once something is written it is indelible...i like tp write as much shite as i talk as i belive there s a lot to be said for humour in relation to the seriousness of words.

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melanie coady

Tue 15th Mar 2011 10:59

thanks lads xx i didn't really think about how i was writing it guys i just write it down the way it comes into my head lol maybe i should start reading over things lol

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Steven Waling

Tue 15th Mar 2011 10:21

I like this on the whole - but I don't think you need the 'me' or the 'how insignificant'

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Laura Taylor

Tue 15th Mar 2011 10:11

I like the idea of this, and think it starts strong, but gets a little out of control on the 4th line. Perhaps cut a few words out, tighten it up a little?

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