Please come in.

Take a seat.

How long have you lived?

Under sex you wrote robot.

Thats good.

We encourage irony here.

You have yourself as reference

And your phone number has a 'the' in it.

We require heavy lifting

And long periods of standing up.

Beards are not essential

As full training is provided.

You may drink heavily

As long as you tell a joke or two.

Overtime can be arranged

But you must first bring my friend to the cinema.

She has tourettes and is hilarious.

Also

The foreman has a phobia of mice

So no squeeking noises

And there is no lunch break.

Any questions?