in another life

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Too blue in my head,

In another life

I could have loved you

But this life

Has us both hard beaten.


We have closed  too many doors

so this woman

Will quietly  steal your words

and run away

hold them tight, and close .


Knowing  they will hold the answer

In another life.






◄ click click click

Escape ►


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Elaine Booth

Sun 6th Mar 2011 22:14

I liked the punch of this poem: "But this life / Has us both hard beaten" are wonderful lines.

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Sun 27th Feb 2011 22:22

francine thankyou for your comment , but you read too much into the poem. there is no loss in this poem only gain

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Sun 27th Feb 2011 19:33

It is hard to accept that we cannot have it all sometimes. I often think this too about the missed opportunities, etc... I have to believe that things happen for a reason and we do our best to follow our passions despite discouraging circumstances at times...

p.s. I love your comment!

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sat 26th Feb 2011 23:09

Love it, oh shoeless one. xx

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Sat 26th Feb 2011 22:45

yes, you are right, will sleep on it.

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Chris Dawson

Sat 26th Feb 2011 22:24

Ok - I think the first verse is much stronger than the second.
Personally - I would lose the 'So' (2nd line, 2nd verse) and re-arrange slightly so the rhythms match in both verses.
The last two lines are ambiguous (I tend to like ambiguity - allows for some interpretation), but they could possibly be a bit stronger.

Nevertheless, I did like it - but then I like the idea of another life - what could've been etc. Wrote something in a similar vein a long while back - 'Confetti'

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Sat 26th Feb 2011 22:09

i keep changing it , and would like to receive constructive criticism, although i will very likely ignore it :)

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Chris Dawson

Sat 26th Feb 2011 22:06

Love it

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