(It's said that men think about sex , on average, every 15 seconds.

I think they've counted some dead men in the sample to make up for me.)

Good Morning, John, and how do you do?

My name’s Susan Whitworth, but just call me Sue;

I think in just over an hour we’ll be through;

We’ll aim for 2 or 2.30.

(Thinks:  This one’s a right Dirty Gerty).

So tell me just why you applied for this role;

How does it fit your ambitions and goals?

Is Employment Law a help, on the whole,

Or is it a straight-jacket too?

(Thinks:  Your nipples are showing through).

So talk me through your broad expertise

In formulating best policies;

Focus your thoughts on Diversity

With particular reference to race.

(Thinks:  I’m betting you’d sit on my face).

I see your experience spans a wide range -

Succession plans, organisational change;

Do you not find TUPE transfers are strange?

What aspects of law would you ditch?

(Thinks:  I’m getting a bit of a twitch).

I think that just about covers it all

And I wouldn’t want the process to stall;

If you’re successful I’ll give you a call;

Do you think you could handle the job?

(Thinks:  Do you think you could handle my nob?).