Was it for thee

Was it not for thee that I lay

With straggled legs

Aching heart

And heaving breasts


Was it not for thee that I toiled

With caresess fair

Stroking hair

And beating chest


Was it not for thee that I conceived

With lusting heart

Orgasm's deep

Memories to keep


Yes to thee this was so

Then why on earth are we

On this show

To all the world we will be known!


Yes to thee this was so

My DNA in disrepute

To detect a lie

Who is this other guy?


Yes to thee this was so

A son, a heir

Did I give to thee

That lead to this tragedy



To him did you go


To him did you go


Open the envelope

Reveal the truth

No ducking stool

To all the world you are the fool


Leave to the right

Leave to the left

No more to meet

In the middle of the night


Another day another show

Innocence proved

Imbeciles must go

Leave depart you are no more!


Trust is like gold

And never to be sold

On trashy TV

Courting celebrity.


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Sat 12th Feb 2011 09:15

Yes I love both prior comments and would thoroughly agree with the quirkiness of using old language and very modern themes.
You are a master of stand up comedic poetry Chris. I so envy your ideas and ability to write this stuff - it is so entertaining, especially heard live.

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Thu 10th Feb 2011 17:21

cool mix of shakespearean language and the ever popular jezza kyle show x

<Deleted User> (7164)

Thu 10th Feb 2011 15:25

Good performance piece this in my opinion Chris. Very topical and i love how you manage to portray 'the same old story' theme using old fashioned language then bringing it up to date using Jeremy Kyle.
I detest that show! ;-)

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