Daniel (pschosis at 16)
These pieces of me can't interact,
they are cracked
splitting like glass.
My mind is breaking up into pieces,I am literally cracking up
while the stress is mounting
my heart is exploding like a fountain.
I am deluded my mind can't cope with explanations
haystacks without needles.
What am I but despair incarnate?
the clothes I wear the only reminder of the man which i was
before all this started
before my sanity departed
panic,attacks with its force of discourse
adrenalin makes me want to run
and the pressure bears down om me by the ton.
I have become like atlas holding my world up.
I am afraid the pressure was building since my childhood
war between my parents since before I was born
petty squabbles the norm
was it all their fault
no but if your sentence is no I don't love myself
then it might as well be I don't have the greatest of mental health
fear breeds denial
rearrange the letters it spells my name!
my shame. my pain, born out of a loveless marriage
there is no chariot no carriage
to take me away only the police van
to take me into the ward for my own safety
and the safety of others!
I wrote this poem because not many people have written of their first hand experience of pschosis.What happened to them and what they felt was recorded by a pschiatrist or other mental health workers rather than people who have experienced this first hand!