Daniel (pschosis at 16)

These pieces of me can't interact,

they are cracked

into shards

splitting like glass.

My mind is breaking up into pieces,I am literally cracking up

while the stress is mounting

my heart is exploding like a fountain.

I am deluded my mind can't cope with explanations

haystacks without needles.

What am I but despair incarnate?

the clothes I wear the only reminder of the man which i was

before all this started

before my sanity departed

panic,attacks with its force of discourse

adrenalin makes me want to run

and the pressure bears down om me by the ton.

I have become like atlas holding my world up.

I am afraid the pressure was building since my childhood

war between my parents since before I was born

petty squabbles the norm

was it all their fault

no but if your sentence is no I don't love myself

then it might as well be I don't have the greatest of mental health

fear breeds denial

rearrange the letters it spells my name!

my shame. my pain, born out of a loveless marriage

there is no chariot no carriage

to take me away only the police van

to take me into the ward for my own safety

and the safety of others!


I wrote this poem because not many people have written of their first hand experience of pschosis.What happened to them and what they felt was recorded by a pschiatrist or other mental health workers rather than people who have experienced this first hand!

dan hooks poet poetry alienpoetdanielmental healthpschosis

◄ Are you a narcisst

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Comments

<Deleted User> (9186)

Mon 4th Apr 2011 19:42

I don't have the greatest of mental health either. It's not easy to commit to paper and it's hard to know if anyone understands. Spelling out shame and what your ashamed of is tricky as is pasting on the appropriate label. In my case it was all my own fault and I have done a hidden and and atrocious poem about it in rhyming couplets in chronological order. I like the tone and phrasing of your poem it's interesting and cleverly put together - David

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