I recall the rain
Crying into my dreams
No charabanc for me
No trip to the sea
Squalling
The gusting wind scattered my broken heart
All ways like grains of sand
My bucket and spade
Laid
Hand in hand upon my bedroom floor
Lovely piece Gus.
Cx
Once again, thank you all so much Going to the sunny south of the Island for me as a child was a treat one that included lots of crossed fingers and prayers to ensure good weather...
ahh well... somepeople believe in seaweed.....
But on rainy days there was always a silver lining... i played with the girl next door..... I liked that.
Gus xx
beauitfully wrote, Gus.... Loved it - if I was to write a poem for this comp (which is unlikely now owning to lack of time), would aim for something as beauitful as this.. Loved it!
Philipos
Sat 29th Jan 2011 20:09
I think its the economy of words that I like best about this emotive poem - well done
These lines are so effective:
"I recall the rain
Crying into my dreams". A very spare (in a good way) and poignant poem.
You've captured the feelings well in this beautiful little poem, Gus.
It is always interesting to me how certain disappointments and experiences we endured as children can make such a huge impact on our sensitive little souls...
So childhood wasn't a picture post card for you either then...
Perhaps that's what links us as poets - the ability to see right through to sadness, even at a young age.
Can't be arsed commenting on your imagery - it works. You don't need to thank me for commenting either - I will assume your gratitude instead :) La dee da dee da x
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Jeff Dawson
Thu 17th Feb 2011 08:06
Great little poem, so few words say so much, great stuff. As I remember whenever i did get to the sea it was throwing it down anyway! all the best Jeff