The Nearly Moon (revised draft)

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I watch and stand

and let a passing cloud

hit by moonlight

make a rimmed spectacle

of a distant want.


I shift my weight and


and recall wordless

feelings before

putting into words

those useless



It's the words,

with their wanton

un-mouthed ache,

that bleat silently

against the ear

tangle those

as yet un-marked

and un-surveyed


Their cerebral

obliterating duster,

transforming an

ancient passion
into a smudge. 


I blink again and return 

to my frosted gate

pausing to catch

a reflection

of the nearly moon

break free from

the hiding clouds-

and for an instant

my feelings, 




◄ Daughter: In the year 2020

Funny boned ►


Deborah Jordan

Sat 16th Jul 2011 08:57

my printer ran out of ink months ago, but i'm glad i ordered some last night because this poem i want to print and read and read again. it's just beautiful Tommy.

<Deleted User> (8943)

Mon 14th Feb 2011 23:01

Very moody & shifting like your weight & the cloud obscuring the moon for a moment, I absolutely adore the 3rd stanza. x

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melanie coady

Sat 29th Jan 2011 17:09

i love it...


Fri 31st Dec 2010 20:53

Clever technique of blinking to rejuvenate the readers attention and a lovely poem in its entirety

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Rodney Wood

Fri 31st Dec 2010 16:44

I don't know. That you're such a sensitive writer aware of surrounding and personal feeling overshadow the poem.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 31st Dec 2010 12:17

Gorgeous. I have always found that words can be as destructive as constructive; and if words don't come, they aren't needed.

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Tommy Carroll

Fri 31st Dec 2010 00:55

@Steve: I usually give some few hours before responding (in order to 'mull')but an interim is in order as a thanks for taking the time.

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