Daughter: In the year 2020

entry picture

 

Like my rubbing of your wet face

(with a dry flannel)

Like my brushing of your dry teeth

(with baking soda)

I seem to prove  an annoying

but improving

ex-foliating daily chore. 

 

You stand aghast as I rail down the 'phone

(on your behalf)

for those absent cheques.

You look askance as I query the bill

(on your behalf)

for the meal that you've just paid for.

Or the life that I've arranged

(on your behalf) 

 

But, I watch your up-turning mouth

(forgiving with a smile)

as I join you at our table.

And, I feel your taloned grip

(in my palm) 

that's fierce in my defence.

And, as I hear 

(from a strangers mouth)

of your apparent love for me:

I burn with a silencing ache.  

◄ The Nearly Moon

The Nearly Moon (revised draft) ►

Comments

Profile image

Isobel

Fri 31st Dec 2010 09:38

Ha - I once remember commenting on one of yours thinking it was about the end of a loving relationship. It was actually about a very 'actively engaged' menage a trois! LOL - I felt such a prat. Only in my wildest dreams could I have identified with that ;-)

It is good to see you back posting again Tommy. x

Profile image

Tommy Carroll

Thu 30th Dec 2010 15:29

@Isobel: Thank you for your comment. You have the poem summed up. Please do not feel unsure re ANY of my poems nor any comment of mine. :o)

@Philipos: Thank you for your comment.'silencing' is the effect upon my 'want' to retort not something within. More outward than inward.

@Winston: Thank you for your comment. :o)

Profile image

Isobel

Tue 28th Dec 2010 21:32

I'm always wary of commenting on yours in case I've misinterpreted them. I'll risk it this time.

I like this. It is life affirming. Something I can identify with. The love of parent for child - child for parent is unquestionable, constant (for the lucky ones anyway)- that is why I love this simple exploration of that.

Profile image

Philipos

Tue 28th Dec 2010 21:07

I enjoyed this Tommy - fav: (from a strangers mouth)your deepest love for me-

struggled though with 'I burn with a silencing ache'. Wondered if 'silenced' might flow better

Profile image

winston plowes

Tue 28th Dec 2010 20:56

enjoyed this Tommy. Perceptive Perspective. Win X

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message