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Perfect line

We are all dots … just waiting

to be connected to each other.

 

We mirror fingerprints to find a match.

Planets align as ink lines draw freely.

 

For a while, on borrowed time,

we find formation in crimson skies.

 

In backlit flight we say goodbye

To a once engaging perfect line.

◄ Collecting light

Child's perspective ►

Comments

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Jeff Dawson

Mon 3rd Jan 2011 15:21

Neatly drawn! A lot said in a few words, great stuff! Jeff X

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Rachel Bond

Fri 31st Dec 2010 16:29

simply beautiful poem...it captures the elusive nature of love and the fascination of its otherworldliness for me...i really like the image of mirroring fingerprints, like desperate effort to catch the truley beautiful, that in nature will always pass,impermanent, fragile and impossible to hold. gorgeous x

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Isobel

Fri 31st Dec 2010 09:29

I like this one too - such an original way to describe the love game. I like the underpinning sadness about it - the impermanence, the transience.
A really lovely poem.

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 31st Dec 2010 09:01

This appears to read like one would blink, then miss the event completely. How did you do that?

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Andy N

Fri 31st Dec 2010 08:20

really enjoyed this Rach, but am wondering shouldn't you consider splitting the piece up to something like

'We are all dots … just waiting
to be connected to each other.

We mirror fingerprints to find a match.
Planets align as ink lines draw freely.
For a while, on borrowed time.

We find formation in crimson skies.
In backlit flight we say goodbye
To a once engaging perfect line.


Just food for thought, but I particularly like the first two lines..

top stuff - Andy N x

Philipos

Thu 30th Dec 2010 23:53

Your paucity of words achieves much and hints strongly at the interconnectedness in all things - a poem of considerable depth

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