Breathing

It’s as easy as breathing, I say

Taking big, bold, billowing breaths

If you let yourself go

In out, in out

(No nasty innuendo please…)

I could do it on a high wire

A pile of plates on my head

Or jumping off a cliff

Elastic band round my ankle

The endomorphins flow

As I blow, blow, blow

I’m a whale

Snorting the salt

On a clear blue sea

Or a dragon,

Flying high

On my own steam

Breathing

 

Then I listen to you wheeze

My consumptive child

Painful and laboured

Lungs racked

Or maybe wrecked

Spitting blood

Where I spit fire

 

I breathe onto the frosted pane

Hoping to see a way through

But the vapour vanishes

And everything’s opaque

Maybe I have a gift

And it’s not so easy

This breathing thing

◄ Biting the Bullet

Deletion ►

Comments

Profile image

Val Cook

Thu 9th Sep 2010 20:09

Your composition is excellent Isobel,it identifies and carries through well.But lose that line.
Good work

Profile image

Isobel

Mon 6th Sep 2010 06:52

Oh you are naughty, but I like you...

(quoting Dick Emery there - for our younger readers - and you have to imagine a chiffon scarfed man in drag with a strong chin)

<Deleted User> (7212)

Sun 5th Sep 2010 22:16

Hi Isobel - hope you dont mind me lowering the tone (for a change) :)
A girl goes to the doctor.
Big breaths, he says.
Yeth, and I'm only thixteen she lisps.

Profile image

Isobel

Sun 5th Sep 2010 20:29

Thanks Cate - you are right about that line - in a poem about kids, it's out of place.

Profile image

Cate Greenlees

Sun 5th Sep 2010 19:03

Powerful and very very touching Isobel.It must be every parents nightmare to be in such a situation, you would gladly give your life to change places.
Not sure I like the line "(No nasty innuendo please…)" it seems strangely out of place in a poem of such gravity. The rest though is beautifully written.
Cate xx

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 5th Sep 2010 10:29

It's hard to believe you are not writing from hard experience. This is a wonderful poem, simply superb. And trust me, it exemplifies the issue amazingly. My family used to ask: What are you doing? And my answer: I'm enjoying Breath. But I never made it into a poem. Well done!

Profile image

Andy N

Sun 5th Sep 2010 10:25

good stuff, Isobel.. Not much to add here to the other comments but on a performance level, you could break it up a bit certainly towards the end perhaps repeat 'it's not so easy' a few times to pace it out a bit, but I did enjoy this (Good to see you have another on the way also - am in the process too of posting another one myself) x

Profile image

Isobel

Sun 5th Sep 2010 09:53

Tee hee - I knew someone would level that one at me! I go through phases where I cab't write anything - then bang, I can't stop them coming. I've got another one lined up but it's performance and needs recording.
On the whole my kids are very healthy - but I do know others with asthma. Emotionally kids are always a challenge though.
Thanks for your comments. xx

Profile image

Lynn Dye

Sun 5th Sep 2010 09:20

This is really good, Isobel, but like Ann, I do hope this is not written first hand about any of your own children. xx

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Sun 5th Sep 2010 09:12

I love this Isobel - but I hope none of your own children are affected by breathing problems. My partner used to get bad asthma attacks - nothing worse than seeing (and hearing) someone you love fighting for breath! I particularly admire the last few lines. But hey!! You are becoming a bit too prolific on here! I really think you are blogging too much!! ;-) xxxxxx

Profile image

Donna Marie Beck

Sun 5th Sep 2010 09:02

Hey Isobel,is this based on your life?
I like how you start off as a powerful creature who is then made vulnerable by the ill chiid.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses only functional cookies that are essential to the operation of the site. We do not use cookies related to advertising or tracking. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message