It is so much easier to say ‘I Love You’
The words flow easy from the tongue
Honey from a stick, water from a spring
No need for even words
A look, a kiss, a touch…
Much harder words that spell the end
Acid pear drops melting on the tongue
Icicles to stone
Calcium deposit
Mounted on a rocky roof
Stuck fast
Warm lips cool
Paint themselves
In foreign shades
Seal themselves with fear
And the tide rushing out
Leaves a desolate shore
top stuff, isobel again. this is totally different from your other piece in pace and tone. i think i prefer this one as i am in a love poem mood (though i love the other one) more at the moment and i like the last stanza in particular xx
Great. The others have said it all. It left me feeling that writing the poem was a little like beachcombing after the storm - picking up the bits and pieces and trying to tell their story.
Que c'est vrai...
Tu exprimes le sentiment d'amour et de rompre très bien dans ce poème, Isobel.
J'aime ces images:
'Acid pear drops melting on the tongue
Icicles to stone
Calcium deposit'
Et cette dernière strophe est magnifique !
'Warm lips cool
Paint themselves
In foreign shades
Seal themselves with fear
And the tide rushing out
Leaves a desolate shore'
Bravo ! Tu sais toujours trouver les mots ; )
xxx
Very good - you nail the pain of being in love and the agony of breakup very, very well. Good stanza at the end with some great metaphor and juxtaposition.
<Deleted User> (6292)
Sat 21st Aug 2010 13:22
This is excellant Isobel 'Nervous' and 'Isobel' are not easy bedfellows ...
...or are they.
.. I wonder???
Once again this is truely a superb poem
I like it very much.
It reads better ever time .
Augusta xx
Thank you Cynthia - you always make me feel better about stuff I post - am always so nervous about it. I originally wrote it without hyphens but got all those squiggly lines telling me it was wrong - they only disappeared when I put hyphens in - I should have gone with my instincts - American spell checkers - who needs them when they've got a Cynthia? xx
You are so good, so good. This poem is superb in every way, pure beauty. Your metaphors are splendidly original and apt.
Not sure where the hyphens in those pronouns come from; I'd check a grammar book. I find them a bit distracting.
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Graham Sherwood
Mon 23rd Aug 2010 20:47
Isobel, I've read this over and over and the last verse just sticks in the mind. It is quite wonderful.