At a recent Open Mic I attended a bloke was telling us that his neighbour had just had his chimney swept.  It cost £70!!!  Well, I couldn't resist writing this.

 

Chim chiminy chim chiminy chim chim cherie

Who'd be a chimney sweep black as can be?

Chim chiminy chim chiminy chim chim cheroo

When you know the benefits then you would too.

 

Their trade is in grime and their trade is in smut

Original black faces ingrained with soot

Tools of their trade poking from rooftops steep

Familiar brushes of your chimney sweeps.

But bugger me! These days they do not come cheap.

 

The smoke it was billowing out from our flue

Into the parlour and scullery too

We needed to book one so that's what we did

And bugger me he wanted seventy quid!

(He'd cunningly kept all his prices well hid).

 

Now seventy quid well it made my eyes weep

But needs must and we need a chiminy sweep

Arriving by Merck and not on a push bike

He looked like a yuppie and not Dick van Dyke.

 

As entrepreneur this bloke quite took some topping

But seventy quid and my eyes started popping

He didn't feel guilty nor yet even blush

At blacking our carpet where he dropped his brush.

(Our Gert would gave give him a smack in the mush!)

 

Chim chiminy chim chiminy chim chim cherie

Why did I study a fucking degree?

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You'll make much more brass stuffing brush up a flue.