“How Do You Solve a Problem Like Suella?”

Lately of my Tory Cabinet

Who’s left a stink so bad that I can smell her

And also brings me out in a cold sweat.

 

Her outbursts nearly bordered upon slander

On demonstrations, migrants and the police

She’s led us down a dead-end with Rwanda

I’d like to gag the bitch’s big mouth piece.

 

So How Do I Solve a Problem Like Suella?

Wouldn’t I like to take the bastard down?

Wouldn’t I like to lock her in my cellar?

Wouldn’t I like to see the bastard drown?

 

There’s many a thing you know I’d like to tell her

There’s many a thing I’d do to get her back

For now my hands are tied; I cannot quell her

For fear of escalating her attack.

 

For now I need to play the honest fella

Hold my piece until the time is right

But, trust me, I’ll solve the problem of Suella

Believe me I will then enjoy the fight.