THEN SHE WOULD ROW, ROW, ROW
Sportsfans and transfans may be aware of a recent ruling by rowing’s UK governing body to continue to allow athletes born male to compete in elite women’s races, contrary to the rulings in rugby league and union, cycling and athletics.
Personally, I couldn’t care less if someone wants to self-identify differently from their birth sex, their race or even their species. It’s their right to do so, just as it’s mine to say it’s all nonsense; and that in 20 years time (or perhaps in only 5) they’ll be saying “What on Earth were we thinking?”.
She isn’t allowed to ruck with the girls
For things are not as they seem
Neither at club and especially not
With the England Red Roses team.
She isn’t permitted to run with the girls
In GB’s Olympian sprints
Since UK Athletics restricted the race
To other traditional bints.
And so too from cycling she found she was barred
To speed round the velodrome track
Cos pressed on the saddle the other girls saw
Not quite a conventional crack.
She’s found her salvation in rowing it seems
Her oars fitting snug in their rowlocks
I think you’ll have managed to guess at the rest
Di diddle di diddle di dee
So she would row, row, row
At the regatta she would row, row, row
No-one could catch her
With her tash and full-face beard
The other women feared
She lacked a flue
More evidence appeared.
When she would row, row, row
Two kilometres she would row, row, row, row, row
So it came as no shock
When she pulled out her cock
As she would row, row, row.