I’m betting this morning you started to grieve

When you heard on the telly he’s going to leave

They’d given the old git the big hey-ho heave

It’s Willoughby One Schofield Nil

There’d be no more Holly and Phil.


They’d been co-presenters for 20-odd years

But Time waits for no man as Destiny nears

Don’t bother with hankies to dry up your tears

He’ll no doubt have made loadsa lolly

From now on, though, no Phil with Holly.


It didn’t bode well when they jumped Lizzie’s queue

And pushed in up front for a privileged view

While thousands stood patiently (and Beckham too!)

But this pair avoided the mill

Of the throngs did Holly and Phil.


The die it was cast when his brother Tim

Got sent down for doing some stuff pretty grim

It wasn’t so much that Willoughby’s prim

But that betraying her trust was his folly

It’s “Time’s Up” for Phil but not Holly.


So gone are the giggles which started your day

The double entendres that Gino might say

And no more your husband’s “I knew he was gay”

For Schofield the bitterest pill

It’s no more Holly and Phil.




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John Coopey

Wed 24th May 2023 11:01

Thankyou, Stephen.

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 24th May 2023 08:36

Well done, John. This pair have largely passed me by, but the poem is fantastic.

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John Coopey

Tue 23rd May 2023 21:16

Thanks, MC. I take it then that you have never enjoyed the political insight you can watch on Loose Women?
And thanks for the Like, Stephen.

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 23rd May 2023 17:43

JC - your sources of inspiration are many and varied, that's for
sure! But that speaks more for your talent than the chosen material in this instance. I've been retired for longer than these
two were together on TV and can't recall ever actually seeing
them on their programme - except for occasional glimpses of
extracts on YouTube items that gained publicity for one reason
or another. I don't think I missed a lot, much preferring the
company of my bed! 😉

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John Coopey

Tue 23rd May 2023 08:48

Thankyou, Leon and Uilleam. Personally, I don’t give a monkey’s, other than that they give me some meat for my poems. As for Envy, Uilleam, don’t knock the basis of Politics.
And thanks for the Like, Ghost.

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Tue 23rd May 2023 08:21

Well said John, and I agree with you Leon.

I'm just glad such cringeworthy "celebrity" shows have never been part of my life...."Look what you could have been, aren't you so envious!"

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Tue 23rd May 2023 00:02

UGH John! pass me 2 sickbag's!

and I'll swap you for a choclate mouse


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