Grammar Police

I’ll hold up my hand and I’ll freely admit

to my grammar police inclinations,

because knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit

are two quite discrete revelations.


And if I make the statement “I’m going to”,

I should follow with my destination,

while if somebody else says “I’m going too”,

I might greet that with some trepidation.


To say I want a peace, or I want a piece

is the difference twixt friendship and fighting,

and so to ensure that hostilities cease,

please don’t just trust spellcheck when writing.


If it’s written or spoken, you need to be clear

and follow these language conventions,

‘cause grammar police are not something to jeer,

they want words without misapprehensions.

◄ Those Nights We Danced

Bard Times ►


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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Tue 28th Mar 2023 22:20

Well done Trevor. Could I pitch in with my 50p's worth?

"Peace, prosperity and friendship with all nations" is the inscription on the 50p coin which was issued to celebrate that titanic success, Brexit.

Stig Abell of the Times Literary Supplement bemoaned the lack of an Oxford comma after the word "prosperity".

Nonsense, I say; the conjunction "and" does what it says on the tin; it joins the words "prosperity" and "friendship"; a comma would do the opposite, breaking, the, rhythm, of, the, words.

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Reggie's Ghost

Tue 28th Mar 2023 19:28

It always surprises me when I see written pieces, notices etc - designed to be read by as large an audience as possible - full of grammatical and spelling errors which quickly turns off potential readers.

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John Coopey

Tue 28th Mar 2023 18:02

I helped my friend jack off his horse.
I believe there was said to be an execution because a misplaced comma. “Hang him not, leave him”.

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Stephen Gospage

Tue 28th Mar 2023 17:34

Well said, Trevor. I once attended a speaking group where a 'grammarian' was designated each evening. Interesting idea, although it proved that many intelligent people each have a very different opinion on what constitutes good grammar!

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 28th Mar 2023 17:27

Witty and wise. Use of words merits the same care and
attention as the use of tools of any trade worthy of respect
and the intended result of one's labours.

Jack Roberts

Tue 28th Mar 2023 14:19

Nice to see us pedants getting some recognition

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