I don’t know if you’ve ever seen it on the box but the premise is a simple one – ostensibly.  It is to turn the dating game on its head.  Whereas conventionally a relationship starts with a first date, a coffee or a drink in a pub, perhaps followed by a trip to local Essoldo, a goodnight kiss etc and, if things go well, end up in bed, sometimes with a loved and lifelong partner.

In Naked Attraction the idea is to start off bollock naked and build up to a first date.  You’ll note I said “ostensibly” because, in reality, it’s nothing of the sort but simply an opportunity to show us a variety of tits and cocks and fannies on the telly.

It is hosted by some laddist bint who, in keeping with the tenor of the show, invites people to “get your baps out” or “show us your wanger”.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not the laddist nudity that I object to.  Indeed, I enjoy it. It’s the hypocrisy.

But more recent developments have enthralled me further – prospective partners with a selection of sexual organs.  A pot pourri, nay a veritable smorgasbord of tits, fannies and cocks all accessible on the same person, some of whom do not want to be referred to as “he” or “him” or “she” or “her” but rather “they” or “them”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any sense anti-trans; what sex anyone wants to think they are is entirely fine by me.

Indeed, I’m all for it.  My only regret is that I wish that I’d have had such a selection of “themfriends”  when I was a lad.

Double the fun.