A fair exchange is no robbery

There’s no excuse for snobbery

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth

A chocolate fire guard is of no use

 

He’s no use nor ornament 

Two slices short of a loaf

If she had brains she’d be dangerous

But could make you as warm as toast

 

As deaf as a door post

As blind as a bat

Two short planks are thick

But he’s thicker than that

 

As stubborn as a mule 

And as cunning as a fox

The nutty mad professor 

Thinking outside of the box

 

The lying old toad

At the last chance saloon

At the end of the day

I’m over the moon 

 

She’s as bright as a button

He’s as sharp as a tack

So keep yourself to yourself 

‘Cos I’m all right Jack!