Alone, in a bar.

A singles bar is a lonely place,

I was in there.  Billy No Mates,

Waiting for someone to pour me a drink.

So, I snaffled some salted peanuts

From a tempting plate, right in front of me.


When a ghostly voice suddenly announced,

“You are looking most handsome, sir,

If I might be permitted to say.

Your clothes and shoes are elegant

And you sparkle, sir, in every single way!”

I was astonished, anxious, but very pleased,

My vanity had been appeased!


I informed the barman as he served me a beer,

“A voice from nowhere spoke to me,

Saying he liked my style and my face,

Has this ever happened before in here?”

“That will be the peanuts, sir,

Help yourself, they are ever free!

And our peanuts are always...

... complimentary!”


◄ Stoned

Repeating Patterns ►


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John Botterill

Sat 2nd Jul 2022 20:45

Thanks everyone for the likes and the kind comments. Your sense of humour is as groan worthy as mine, Rose! 😂
Carol and Julie - glad I made you both smile 😊
And,, yes, MC, it is a cunning ploy but I fall for it every time haha 😁

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 2nd Jul 2022 15:32

Brings back the old ploy I knew in pubs of the past that had free salted peanuts in dishes on the bar - slyly intended to increase
the sale of beer to assuage the thirst. 😋

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Rose Casserley

Sat 2nd Jul 2022 09:34

I heard that when the bar ran out of peanut's, they naturally sent for more but, unfortunately on their way to the bar they were....

( as )sa(u)lted! and they haven't been able to come out of their shell's since. Don't worry JB, I AM getting my coat! 😄

RC 💋

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julie callaghan

Sat 2nd Jul 2022 06:20

Brilliant. Made me smile. 🙏

<Deleted User> (33719)

Sat 2nd Jul 2022 00:42

This made me smile John! 😁

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John Botterill

Fri 1st Jul 2022 22:24

Thanks Holden, Stephen A and Stephen G for the comments. It's an old joke. A bit like me! 😂
Thanks for the likes Hugh, Frederick and Leon.

Holden Moncrieff

Fri 1st Jul 2022 17:17

Really clever and funny, John! 😎😂

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Stephen Atkinson

Fri 1st Jul 2022 16:30

🤣 You're nuts!😉 Good one!

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Stephen Gospage

Fri 1st Jul 2022 14:26

Excellent, John. The lure of salted peanuts - well I remember, though not as far as that!

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