Matthews played for Stoke City

At the age of fifty or more!

Stan was moderately talented.

He could pass the ball quite accurately,

But he didn’t often score!

If he could play on in later life,

I’m asking myself, why not me?

 

Before you seek my elimination

From your fantasy football league squad

Consider the relevant legislation

Concerning age discrimination…

My CV is quite clear on this

I’ve just turned sixty-four,

But, you see, I had a paper round

Or I’d have played for a top team before!

 

I have put on a few extra pounds in weight.

But come on, Marcelo.  Is it too late?

You’d sell loads of outsized replica shirts

With BOTTERILL 64 on the back

And you could always deploy me

Simultaneously,

In midfield AND attack!

 

My dribbling is, sadly, not what it used to be.

Instead of running and jinking

All down the wing,

Now the dribble just runs off my chin!

 

Full disclosure.  Cards on the table.

I do have a dodgy left knee,

But the other one passes muster.

Just send your scouts out- then you’ll see!

Anyway, half of the Premier League’s injured

Or sent out to Hull City on loan.

I still have plenty of life in me,

So why should I play on my own?

 

My preference is to play for you, Bielsa,

But the pressing game isn’t my style.

You would urge me to harass defences

And I’d get there,

But it might

Take

A

While.

 

Go ahead, Marcelo. Gizza Game!