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It’s Me.

And I’m not talking about spiritual fulfilment or happiness or inner peace or any of that tree-hugging stuff.  I’m talking about money.

I say this because I cannot think of a single material thing I want, let alone need.

But let me put this into some context for you.

Yes, I have my own house, a car, caravan, take holidays when I want etc.  But this is only a fraction of my “proof”.  The real test I establish by the existence of a threshold, which is this –

Every few weeks Our Gert has a woman come round to trim her muff.

So think about that.

What would you spend your hard-earned brass on before parting with money for someone to snip away at your wife’s minge?  The answer, I suspect, is –

Every other material thing you could conceivably want.

Set aside the extravagant decadence of this for a moment and think about this.


I only mow my lawn every few weeks.

I grew my muff 50 years ago and, like a shag-pile carpet, it’s stayed the same length ever since.

Then consider the Muff Woman.  She turns up dressed like a nurse so the whole transaction has a professional and clinical veneer about it designed to make parting with your brass easier, like she’s undergone years of training to equip her to plough through Our Gert’s wires.

It takes her about ¾ of an hour, so I’d guess she could have 8 appointments in a day.  So what does she do with all that muff?  Does she have a sideline stuffing cushions?

Of course, all of this is conjecture.  I don’t have any empirical evidence of “before” and “after” as Our Gert keeps her slot securely to herself these days.




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John Coopey

Tue 4th Jan 2022 22:44

Surely not, Stephen!
And thanks for the Like, Moonlight.

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Stephen Gospage

Tue 4th Jan 2022 21:16

I realise I've led a sheltered life, John.

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John Coopey

Tue 4th Jan 2022 21:04

Unfortunately, Leon, I could not get the phone through the peep-hole I’d made.

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Tue 4th Jan 2022 20:02

my question Mr C, is, while all of this slot shearing was going on before your very eyes, what the flip were you doing I would like to know?

should the answer be that you were taking a vid of the pussypampering on your ever so smart phone, then please, please! let me know and I'll send you my number ( for obvious reasons )

and hold my breath as well as summat else! 😁

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John Coopey

Tue 4th Jan 2022 19:42

“The Adventures of Muff Woman” on Netflix, MC? I’d get that to watch with the kids.

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 4th Jan 2022 19:15

An unusual topic,. to be sure. It begs the obvious question: what
happened to DIY? 😏 And shouldn't you be approaching Marvel Comics about the
thoroughly modern sounding "Muff Woman" as a super-heroine?

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