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SANTA KRAMPUS

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A Christmas song for the little children.

 

You all know Santa Claus

The saint each child adores

He brings the good ones gifts, does Pere Noel;

But I’m his kith and kin

I punish kids that sin;

I’m Krampus and I harvest souls for Hell.

 

And unlike brother Nick

Well, I bring a big stick

To beat the naughty children till they yell,

“Have mercy, Santa, please,

I’m begging on my knees

Just please don’t cart my sinful soul to Hell”.

 

I harvest naughty boys

And girls; instead of toys

I bring atonement as the tales foretell;

I’m truly not a myth

You’ll find this out forthwith

When huddled in the handcart bound for Hell.

 

So if you’ve not been good

As you all know you should

Then bid your mum and dad a last farewell,

Cos after you’ve been smacked

It’s up the chimney stack

To bubble in the burning pits of Hell.

 

You all know Santa Claus

The saint each child adores

He brings the good ones gifts, does Pere Noel;

It’s him you’ll want to see

Be good, or else it’s me;

I’m Krampus and I harvest souls for Hell.

◄ THE TIME OUR GERT FELL INTO THE BARNSLEY CANAL

THE MOORLAND TRAIN ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Tue 21st Dec 2021 18:13

Thanks, Stephen. But my “alternative” Krampus would love to find you under the sheets on Christmas Day.
And thanks for the Likes, Aisha and John.

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Stephen Gospage

Tue 21st Dec 2021 17:29

Sounds like a good way of keeping the family in check, John. I hate to think what the Doncaster version was. I'll be staying under the quilt on the 25th.
Merry Christmas to everyone.

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John Coopey

Tue 21st Dec 2021 17:28

“Lifetime ban” would be a reprieve, Kevin. Public stoning, more likely.

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kJ Walker

Tue 21st Dec 2021 17:11

Blimey John.
When I saw the title I thought you were going to brave a lifetime ban, and post the Donny version of this.
I liked this version equally as much, and no-one has cause to call the cruelty-man.
Have a great Christmas.
Cheers Kevin

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John Coopey

Tue 21st Dec 2021 16:18

Thanks, Stephen. I have a far raunchier version of Santa Krampus which I gave an airing last week at an open mic in Doncaster. But it would unquestionably offend the delicate sensibilities of HM Censors on this site.
Have a good Christmas.

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Stephen Atkinson

Tue 21st Dec 2021 16:05

Aww, you've got me feeling all Christmassy, John! One for the kids to keep them in line. Good one 👍🎅👹

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John Coopey

Tue 21st Dec 2021 12:06

Thanks, Graham. Best wishes to you and yours too.

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 21st Dec 2021 10:09

Bah! You don't scare me one bit JC
Have a good Christmas John C and Gert, let's hope 2022 is a little less contentious than this one (some hopes) 😀

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