Through The Pen I Grieve
through the pen i grieve
poetically it goes unseen
the prophecy foreseen
I’m trying man. I’m trying so hard man
life can be good. but it can really get stressful
I’m lonely here man
i didn’t really see this for myself growing up
little did i know
i would one day reap the karma that i sow
little did i know that in my most vulnerable states, the realizations would come
crushed soul.
Just hoping life will get better
i feel like a weirdo here
an anomaly in despair
i rather be alone anyways. its good for my spirit
slowly i think I’m starting to accept who i am maybe
like my imperfections.
its kind of hard to get over my imperfections
like one of them is never thinking I’m good enough
i don’t really believe in myself all too much
i hate a lot about me
i hate that i didn’t focus more
thoughts of betrayal lurk in the confinements of my mind
envy of former peers
excelling in ways that I’ve always dreamed
it hurts to be me
blinded from truth
reality is i hate myself sometimes
im falling in and out of depression
lonely
i don’t want love. it scares me
i don’t even really know myself, so how could i love myself?
everyday is a battle
no real peace
the stress is sometimes too much to bare
alcohol. drugs. sex
when i was a kid i never thought i would do drugs
these days i justify it with a shrug
somehow it brings me to love
showing me how my sober mind is so out of touch
i just breathe
close my eyes and try to conceive
searching for an answer to why my spirit faces this level of pain
my heart beats in vain
poetically I’m entering a new lane
accepting the shame
fostering so much blame
sitting with myself slowly falling insane
entering new realms of the brain
traveling through spaces beyond the mundane
