With an enormous nod to John O'Farrell

 

We’d sunk a fair few pints of mild

One evening when we’d met,

Discussing life’s imponderable,

“The best a man can get”.

 

We argued long throughout those beers,

That’s Colin, Phil and me

But reached consensus in the end;

So this was our top three.

 

A close-run thing but in third place

Which gave us each a thrill -

The happy thought of Man United

Losing by 6-0.

 

In second place we all agreed

Without a shred of doubt

A blow-job from a woman

With her dentures taken out.

 

But the pleasure that was champion

We’d all take to our grave

That trumps the other two by far –

A bloody good close shave.