Caveman had occasion to drag cavewoman home by the hair.
Being discomfitted by coconut 
cavewoman threw said coconut at back of caveman's head.
Many times before they reached home
coconut, "ow", back of head, "ow".

No wonder then when they reached the cave
neither was full of the joys of spring.
But their exasperation gave rise to 
the proudest of human achievements: speech.

"For goodness sake! 
My cranium is as sore as a racing mammoth's foot"

"I'll mammoth's foot you in a minute!
If I go over another effing coconut..."

I know, I know. How did they run headlong into speech
without ever consulting a quality dictionary?
Well, when needs must I suppose but
we are getting ahead of ourselves
we should be patient.

To start at the beginning
(and indulge in a popular parlour game)
what was the first word?
Archeology is digging ever deeper
but for now, what is our intuition?

Comedians, bless them, will swear it was a rude word.
Religious folk, keeping up with the game,
suggest a holy word. 
The best bet, according to experts
(yes, you can find an expert on anything)
must be a questioning term, as in:-

"Why are you shouting? Look, 
our hirsute neighbour is coming across"

"What the dickens is all this noise? I was trying to meditate"

My own pet thought for the first word 
is a simple one, a term of endearment,
perhaps "Darling..."

"Darling, would you help me sweep
these beastly coconuts away?"

"Sweetheart! that cave painting is just adorable."

Yes, I'll stick with a simple term of endearment.
What do you think?