Full English

A greasy spoon breakfast for me

Washed down with a nice cup of tea

My taste buds are achin’

For sizzling bacon

And eggs over easy times three


Forget continental cuisines

And don’t even think about greens

A Full English, mate

Just pile up my plate

With sausages, mushrooms and beans


A bonus I hope you agree

Of course it’s all calorie-free

I safely can state

You won’t put on weight

At least here in my fantasy

◄ Rage  (after  Seamus Heaney)

Conversation With My Nine-Year-Old Self ►


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M.C. Newberry

Mon 19th Jul 2021 17:55

Ray - Bill Bryson reported in his book on the home that loss of
appetite can be connected with a vitamin deficiency - was it B1 ?
No fun to eat if the "interest" isn't there.

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Mon 19th Jul 2021 15:29

HI Trevor. Gargantuan writing. I'm trying to put on weight and have lost some appetite, but am forcing as much protein down as possible ( a polite way of saying your poem is very appropriate.)


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Trevor Alexander

Sat 17th Jul 2021 19:01

Yes Stehen, the 'Ulster Fry' is basically a Full English plus fried pancakes, fried potato bread, fried soda bread and white pudding to go with the black pudding. Not to be taken lightly. Has sometimes been called cholesterol on a plate. And I understand Mike Gatting has been known to drop catches, but never pies!

Leon, I think it's more like eat it quickly to use up the calories.

Keith, I try to limit my visits to the greasy spoon to weekends. Honest!

MCN I'm jealous of your physiology. I only have to glance at fried food to gain weight!

Thanks for the comments guys.

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Stephen Gospage

Sat 17th Jul 2021 17:25

I remember a report of former England cricket captain Mike Gatting taking on an 'Ulster Breakfast', which put a full English (calorifically) to shame. Apparently, he survived, which is more than could be said for the breakfast.

Nice one, Trevor.

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M.C. Newberry

Sat 17th Jul 2021 13:57

It's been a while since I enjoyed a "full English" breakfast but
I can smell it in these words! Diet and its needs can play a
part in abstinence, although in my own case, my physiology
from youth is categorised as "ectomorph" (tall and spare) and
I can feel sympathy for those pre-disposed towards gaining
weight when it comes to enjoying food! Metabolism can be a
hard taskmaster! 😋

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keith jeffries

Sat 17th Jul 2021 13:47

A humorous poem indeed, but I take your advice seriously as I struggle to lose weight. The contents of your breakfast are in strict keeping with my diet but you miss out black pudding, bacon and fried bread. Greens! Ha, I have a lovely green table cloth.

Thanks for this. It is now time for tea and sticky buns


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Leon Kamm

Sat 17th Jul 2021 12:19

Eat it quick to reduce calories.

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