Yes,  it’s gonna be a backbench Matt Hancock

His ending has come down to this

A catalogue of criticism and failure

Sealed with a kiss.

 

Boris Johnson said he’s just “fucking hopeless”

And looked for a way to dismiss

Then Doormat Hancock said “I’ll do it for you,

And seal it with a kiss”.

 

He lied about all the care homes

He lied about PPE

He stuffed his pockets with shares but

Got caught by adultery.

 

It’s important that we all keep our distance

Close contact would just be remiss

Advice he gave us but not to Gina

And sealed it with a kiss.

 

It’s snapped in that Sun photo

A right security farce

He snogs her and cops a handful

Of Ms Coladangelo’s arse.

 

So we have to say goodbye to Hopeless Hancock

His prick was his nemesis

He could have got the sack five times over

But sealed it with a kiss.