Last Monday when lockdown eased we were first out of the blocks to whisk our caravan off to Bridlington.  Being there was nice but driving there was even more fun.

 

You folks are always putting me down (down, down)

You say you think I drive like a clown;

It’s fair to say you’re no fan

When you’re stuck behind my caravan.

Tough shit! For now, I’m Leader of the Pack.

 

I puther on at 50 an hour

Which makes that prat who drives a Porsche glower

He thinks I drive like his gran

He’s stuck behind my caravan

Sod him! For now, I’m Leader of the Pack.

 

Then one that’s not so bright

Takes a chance and he thinks he might

Try to jump me at the traffic lights

Don’t do it!  Don’t do it! Don’t do it!

 

There’s no appeal for me in the “ton” (none, none)

I find that driving slowly’s more fun

In my mirror I see my tail

Drivers rant and drivers rail

I’m driving sedately.  I’m Leader of the Pack

 

There’s always one behind who’ll tend

To take a risk at his wit’s end

And try to pass before the bend

Don’t do it!  Don’t do it! Don’t do it!

 

Dual carriageways let some overtake

Who give the finger or their fists shake

When it reverts to single lane

For those further back it’s all in vain

The order’s restored – I’m Leader of the Pack.