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Flesh (Free Verse)

 In the glory of your love,

I lie naked on satin,

Our eyes transfixed

As I watch you undress,

You murmur words in French.

 

As you peel off your shirt,

I watch your muscles ripple.

You unfasten your belt

And bend to kiss my breast.

 

I reach for you

But you escape my grasp

To discard the last of your clothes.

Excitement runs through me

As you join me at last,

We kiss with aching longing,

I hear your heart beat loudly.

 

You whisper words of love to me

In adoring manner,

Skilful hands roam my body

Until it arches with passion.

Your foreplay teases

And then it succeeds,

Bringing me to the heights.

 

Flesh against flesh,

Skin upon skin,

My body welcomes

You inside.

 

Moonlight snakes through

Hastily drawn curtains.

A breath of a breeze

Hits my bedside candle.

It flickers

Then recovers,

Like our love,

Never to falter.

 

Moving together

Sensuously sharing

A pleasure ecstatic

Until at last we cry out in bliss,

And grip each other still closer.

◄ Flesh

Enough's Enough! ►

Comments

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Lynn Dye

Mon 5th Jul 2010 15:45

Thanks Isobel - good point - I forgot to mention! x

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Isobel

Mon 5th Jul 2010 12:50

I see you lost the 6th stanza. Thought I'd mention it cos I wouldn't want anyone to think i was talking about the current one which fits in with the rest of the poem. x

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sun 4th Jul 2010 20:00

ye cannae have 2much of a good 'thang!.....yeh baby! oh! I,ve gone all warm again-won,t tell you where-hee...hee...Stiffen-xx

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Isobel

Sun 4th Jul 2010 18:50

IMO this is much stronger than the rhyming version Lynn. I think that 'and bend to kiss my breast' is a much gentler, lovlier image than what you had earlier. In both versions, I like the first two lines - a bold and sensuous introduction to your poem. I'd probably order things differently. Have the stripping off first, the eyes and the french murmurings later... You have to just love poetry - so many avenues we can take when we construct a poem...

There are still refinements you could make if you were really wanting to refine this as a piece. I would get rid of the 'Now you are..' and just say what it is happening - so it doesn't feel like a list of happenings.I'd be tempted to lose the 6th stanza also and just concentrate on the joy of sex - with all the emotional connections implicit. That's for you to decide though. Every one who reads this will give you different opinions. It is hard to know sometimes whether to offer them... not wishing to undermine at all...It is a brave subject matter - I applaud you. x

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