This is about those dodgy pubs you often get. The one's where you walk in and everyone drinking turns to look at you. The Jukebox cuts off and a curchbell tolls in the distance. You quickly get a drink and find a booth. You soon come to realise that some of the hardest men in town are in that pub. Maybe you can relate? It's a bit long but just bare with it and tell me what you think.........

 

There’s a wet whistle in the wind

On this frankly fearsome night

There’s a broken umbrella in my hand

And raindrops in my sight

When down the road I happen to spot

A partly polished light

And below it oh Jesus two pissed up geezers

Having one hell of a fight

One is caught right in the jaw

Wonderfully he hit’s the floor

The other returns to where he was before

Inside this crooked and narrow door

Above the light there stands the words

The cock and bulldog inn

The windows mostly boarded up

And the place just stank of sin

I ought to get dry with a pint

I think that’s what I’ll do

Its better than hitting the highway home

I may just catch the flu

Fred Perry and Ben Sherman

Are covering all the backs

Of the bald and shaved haired geezers

With scars from all the smacks

There’s one old fella at the bar

Who’s permanently pissed

And the smoking ban in this pub

It just seems to not exist

Derek the good landlord

With a tattoo saying ‘kill’

Is smoking cheap cigars

And putting them out on the windowsill

Oblivious to all the chaos

Occurring around the clock

The disco biscuits under the tables

And the often missing stock

The jukebox blasting town called malice

And constant Chas and Dave

With stinking drinking louts chanting

How they rant and rave

And singing knees up mother brown

With bubbles in the air

It’s definite more than half of them

are having an affair

And as the door is shut behind

You can still hear the glasses smash

You check your phones still there

And that they haven’t nicked your cash

Often I think about that night

And it’s truly sorely missed

That night I got enlightened

The other guys got pissed

So if your out tonight looking for a fight

I know where to begin

They’re mean and keen and sweetly obscene

At the cock and bulldog inn