I Don't Hate You, I Hate Myself

I don't hate you. I love you.
I hate myself.

I hate myself for putting up with the abuse.

I hate myself for wasting so many years with someone I have to continually beg to love me.

I hate myself for believing the mental abuse.

I hate myself for feeling sad everytime you cuss at me. Everytime you belittle me. Everytime you embarrass me.

Everytime you let others disrespect me.

Everytime you do something and make it seem like it's my fault.

Everytime you accuse me.

I hate myself for believing that you would grow up and change.

I hate myself for being so deeply and madly in love with you.

I hate myself for needing you.

For needing the love that you do manage to give.

I hate myself for crying myself to sleep begging God to just make you treat me right.

They say it's not you it's me.

No I don't hate you. I hate me. 

lifeLovesad

Comments

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Erika Montoya

Tue 9th Feb 2021 21:30

Beautiful poem, you described so well the feeling

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Hugh

Sun 7th Feb 2021 07:49

An excellent start ,well done . Look forward ,as others will too ,to reading more of your work.

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victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Sun 7th Feb 2021 02:41

Hating yourself
doesn't work
as you see.
Forgive yourself.
Love yourself.
Discover the
joyful surprises
those miracles bring.

Write on!

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