Sleep with me

Stay with me dont leave me in this dark valley 

Lay on my emotions pet them tell them it can all go away

Everytime im sleepless i have images of our times coming and going

Eventually youll walk in that fire and understand the burning 

Peoplw will walk in an ember from hell just to find out where your going

Will we fall to our senses and stumble down lonely park drive 

I see the sunflowers growing on the street 

They take whats given and show true beauty by your feet beautiful petals each screaming grab me 

Help is all we need but we take advantage of the beautiful flower you will grab it because its easy

My roses have thorns do not get to close just admire the beauty from afar

Encouragement enticing a nonstop roller coaster of an entourage of emotions.

 

farewellgoodbyespain

◄ Every Part of You

I Never Loved You ►

Comments

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Aviva Rifka Bhandari

Tue 19th Jan 2021 18:35

This certainly travels a huge distance between the sentiment at the start of the poem (be near me) and that at its end (stay away), so its certainly a nonstop roller coaster of an entourage of emotions, I just wonder if because of that it needs one more thing to help it work better with the chosen title.

Or maybe, and just a suggestion, but you could change the title to 'Sleeping with me' which covers both the two of you sleeping together either actually or wishfully or possibly, and also all of the rollercoaster of emotions sleeping within you too.

On the other hand, maybe 'Sleep with me' also means 'do nothing there while I do nothing here' which means that the start and the end of the poem are just different interpretations of the title.?

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