To all the old men who once loved me to pieces
who once held me in their big callused hands 
like they were terrified to break me
when it's exactly what they planned to do:

You once looked at me 
like i was the galaxy sprawled out in front of you
You once looked at me like i was infinite 
Transcendant and eternal, time-proof

You wouldn't shoot me a second glance now, 
if i walked into your room
just the ghost of a Lolita
you once promised everything to

I try to remind myself 
it wasn't love It was obsession
Both of us obsessed with a still frame in time
That i should have known would leave me craving
the worst years of my life

To be worshipped by you made me feel immortal
making you fall at my feet was like a drug
that they simply won't sell me anymore

I can't possibly explain how i feel for you now
It's multi-dimensional 
and black and white at the same time
Disgusted, still obsessed?

Wondering if it's the defiling that i miss
or the innocence that once was
and gone just as fast as i let you take it

Did i let you take it?

You said i would ruin you
but who ruined who?