Readers should be aware that the play may contain outdated attitudes, language and cultural depictions which may cause offence today.  And nuts. And in no way does its publication, replication or production intend to justify, endorse or celebrate the morality contained therein.

In particular, we do not condone the stereotyping of the three witches as women with their associated body shaming which would have been a commonly held misconception in the early seventeenth century.

Likewise, violence upon the person in the form killing people is no longer acceptable.  Macbeth’s sticking it to Banquo and Duncan therefore is certainly not.  Especially regicide.  In future, so that it may be seen that violence will not go unpunished, Macbeth will be tagged and issued with an ASBO.

The portrayal of Lady Macbeth as scheming and ambitious is particularly damaging to women and their advancement in today’s society.  Future productions of the play will focus on her more laudable qualities – her work with disabled children and voluntary service at the cats’ home.

Indeed, we need to overlook Shakespeare’s erroneous assumption that Lady M was a woman, but open our minds to the possibility that she was a gay man or, in fact, androgynous.

The maltreatment of animals as sentient beings, for example, where the pet dog is kicked out at night to its kennel (“Out, damn Spot!”) will be deleted in future productions.  Particularly distressing to today’s reader is the reference to animal vivisection for the purpose of preparing non-vegan recipes (“Eye of newt and toe of frog…”)

The cutting down of Birnam Wood is clearly an act of ecological vandalism and should be supplemented with a scene depicting the sustainable planting of indigenous species at Dunsinane.

The Committee for the Literary Improvement of Theatre (CLIT) hope you enjoy our future culturally acceptable productions.