There have been numerous occasions where I'd have to close my eyes to stop from crying 

Watery; blurry; black 

Nights without you are sleepless 

But I'm pretty sure you can sleep just fine 

Even if you prefer another next to you, it's not that you prefer me

 

I could count the stars all night, but I'd still never sleep

And maybe I'd always blame insomnia for being the lack of something I never knew 

Or maybe I'm in love with you 

I can't tell.

 

But when you pull me close, I'll still snuggle in 

Entwining our legs, pushing my body further into yours, snuggling my face into your neck

Breathing in your scent, the scent; your scent always smelled like home to me

 

Yet, I can only remind myself that everything is temporary and if you could choose to do this with someone you actually loved, like love loved,

you wouldn't choose me

 

So I won't close my eyes this time

Instead, let it flow 

I know your care isn't an act 

But you're not here with me, to stop me 

I wish I could make you miss me 

 

Kiss poetry into your mouth 

write songs on your skin

Or maybe learn that sometimes the wrong people make us happy 

I'll always miss you when I can't sleep

I can't ever sleep.