Awaiting A Title

He's been around the world, and so
sums up every other fella
according to an occult system of his own.

And you.

Thousands of times you were tested
according to the arcane system
you had little interest or belief in.

In those times- it seemed right- you did your best.
He was your father after all.
He had his system.

And You. Uncategorised.

◄ The Bard's Walking Blues

Urchins And Has-Beens ►

Comments

MortimerBlooming

Thu 21st May 2020 20:19

A great poem holds its meaning in the eyes of the reader not the poet.

That is precisely what I feel like is going on here, I interpreted it as my struggles with God and theology ever since a young age and with that interpretation in mind this poem really did bring up a lot of mixed memories,

Enjoyed every verse,

Mortimer

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Adam Whitworth

Thu 21st May 2020 19:38

Hi CBT

Thanks for your comments. It's just a work in progress I'm tinkering about with. Still not quite there. I've changed the ending- probably from "excellent" to "#~@*!".

Poems generally benefit from a bit of ambiguity. I'm glad you consider a variety of readings. I would find just the one system here, but each to their own. "The System" (in italics if I could get it) certainly hangs around like an odious stink.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 21st May 2020 16:56

Short and sharp and good. Excellent ending.

I am a bit puzzled about ''AN occult system of his own' and 'THE arcane system' which seems universal. Do I presume they are one and the same? In different periods? Or social strata?

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