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(Always happy to swim against the flow)


Don’t get me wrong, I’m first to say “I love the NHS”

A beacon of our Welfare State and free; but nonetheless

If I should see a nurse again you’re quite right to assume

In 40, 50 years or more – well, this would be too soon.

And seeing as you’re interested I’ll tell the reason why;

It’s all to do with what blokes do to pass the morning by.


I’d been out in my garage, constructing a guitar;

I’d planed the neck and rubbed it down – in truth, not got so far;

I’d reached a point of waiting as sometimes you have to do

I’d stuck a fretboard to the neck; I’d used Gorilla Glue.

Now at this point Our Gert shows up and wears her normal frown

“I’m off to do some shopping; I’m going into town”.



these moments are quite precious and all men will understand

You can’t pass these occasions up to take yourself in hand.

“It’s time to get the Lad out” I thought, “That’s what I’ll do,

And give it a quick knocking” but forgot about the glue.

I see you’ve got ahead of me, so that’s the reason, YES!

I’m up to here with nurses, SO FUCK THE NHS.




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Tue 5th May 2020 07:49

I find that tucking it in my sock prevents that John, you might like to give it a try.

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John Coopey

Fri 1st May 2020 21:01

I bruised it by kneeling on it, Po.

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Fri 1st May 2020 20:12

Laying carpet?????

Lay chicks not eggs!


Definitely not carpets.



Errrr. hang on

Do you bash it with your knee?

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John Coopey

Fri 1st May 2020 18:49

I still get some use out of my nudger when I’m laying carpet, Graham.

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 1st May 2020 17:47

Tools are best left on the bench at your age JC.

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John Coopey

Fri 1st May 2020 15:32

Thanks for your thoughts, fellas. This is a re-post. First time around the sadly missed Harry O’Neill commented, “ Stick with it, John!”

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Fri 1st May 2020 14:39

LOL.😂 Now that is what I would call a sticky situation... regardless/irrespective of the 'Gorilla'.


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M.C. Newberry

Fri 1st May 2020 14:33

I think that Joan Rivers would be the purveyor of something similar
if the genders were reversed! Can I be excused if I say that I find
myself glued to any contribution from this source of inventive ribaldry? 😉

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