This mortal life
Seems thinner now
As we move away from
The old and sick relatives
Keep a safe distance
See everyone as a potential disease
This moral life
Seems thinner now
And in a darkened room, all alone
She sits tapping her fingers ,
Hoping the bell will ring
Or someone will call
Her mortal life
Thinner now
Passing away
All alone
Thanks raypool for taking the time to comment and its pleasing to read what you said about the poem , thanks
A highly charged and powerfully yet constrained account, beautifully read and gives us pause for considered thought. The alteration from mortal to moral and back to mortal brings another layer to the poem, and it's so well constructed that nothing is wasted. It comes to life and never runs out of essence, the sign of a good poem in my opinion.
Easily the best on here I've read in a long time David.
Ray
A sad reality I'm afraid.
Keith
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David R Mellor
Fri 24th Apr 2020 11:56
thanks keith and yes it may be a sad reality