£10 POEM

Things got too far after I had 2 cans at home and three pints in various pubs.                                                           

Five pints in the pub made me merry.                                                                                                               

So when a dickhead in a light blue denim shirt opened the door of our car I was like...

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SPANKING PADDLE SNAIL

I know a guy who works in the power station shovelling coal into the big fat hungry generator to light up the local towns and cities with the light we all take for granted.

In his spare time he likes to dress as a snail and be spanked with a large alloy-spanking paddle till his snail shell is black and blue. He once nailed his bollox to a board an...

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