Things got too far after I had 2 cans at home and three pints in various pubs.
Five pints in the pub made me merry.
So when a dickhead in a light blue denim shirt opened the door of our car I was like what the hell?
Posh dressed chav boy sez I ripped his shirt.
He was pouring beer over me as we danced and I retaliated by grabbing his beer and doing the same to him.
As the music wound down did I really rip his shirt open press stud style?
Who am I to say in my drunken state?
He came to the car and demanded cash with his numpty mate.
Words of you ripped my pal's shirt and it costs £20.
There you go a tenna. Angie went to get the doormen but it wasn't necessary.
I paid my dues and avoided the threat of a beating.
I said I’d call the cops if they kicked off.
I wonder if I should report a robbery.
Shame I don't carry my knife, no more numb nuts.
What joy at Legends next Friday?