Why is the person I would die for

Refusing to understand me anymore

I could cut my throat

I could jump off a cliff

I could shot myself

I could even cry to death

So why is the person I love the most

So closed to the feelings I wish to share

Once more

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Why do i keep this picture in my wallet
stupid but I cant throw it
super duper party
cant manage to think at all
let my body laugh without even a thought
drunk like trash
losing youth so fast
feeling free as hell
could jump from that high
hand grabbing my wrist
oh crap I know who it is
anxiety found me
I need a few more sip

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looking down my feet

regrets entangling me like wines
struggling hard

chocolate makes me vomit

sugar cubes into my glass

sipping alcohol with hidden thorns in it

drooling blood but can't manage to stop

I should sit

glance up for a seconde

realizing i broke my own reality

is this some kind of guilt

but most importantly

May I order another drink ?

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kiss on the cheek

first hand holding

your wide paw brushing mine

so soft even its shy

looked away a few times

to make sure you weren't a lie

touched your hair like it was precious jewelry

held my breath for the first time in a decade

could stare at you for ages

everlasting feeling gone in such a blink

spring to winter in a gleam

from nothing to an end

struck dow...

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Craving for an attention that doesn't exist

Sick as hell but undying

Is it the lack of you

Or some kind of late overdose

Felt so good I mistaken pain for pleasure

Backstabs from feelings to memories

As sour candy bitters my tongue

Saw your name

Heartache started like a race

Silly me believing

Convincing myself that everything was pink

Idolize past even if it's a li...

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Close my eyes
open my ears
Still can't manage to hear your voice
Nor overdose or lack
only a brain foolish enough to trick me in this guilty trip
Thoughts louder than thunderstorm
even clouds never cried this much
drooling tons of salt as it helps me cleanse enough

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