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It’s All Kicked Off.......

by Chris Briggs

it’s all kicked off down at the zoo
absolute chaos, a proper to-do
when it all started, it was really quite small
when a boy in a pushchair just squeezed a ball
he didn’t mean to do it, it’s just it was there
all round and pink and covered in hair
they bobbed past him at just the right height
so he grabbed a handful and held them quite tight
he wiggled his fingers and gave them a tweak
th...

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Saturday 23rd June 2018 6:02 am

humour

The Circle of Life

by Chris Briggs

I know we didn’t click when we first met
I wasn’t just playing hard to get 
previous partnerships were hard to ignore
false dawns I’d visited many times before
at first my pulse rate you didn’t raise
until I felt your tight embrace
sending both of my knees  all weak
from your light touch across my cheeks
we’ve had good times, we’ve had bad
experienced both happiness and sad
victories tha...

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Saturday 23rd June 2018 5:58 am

humour

Pissed 'n' Broke

by Chris Briggs

Lairy teenage louts
Spotty young offenders
Spend all their time
Going on benders
With cider pilfered
From a local store
Nicked Regal Kingsize
Shared once more
They collect together
On waste ground
To trash a moped
Someone 'just found'
Chained up behind
A garden gate
The owner not yet
Realising their fate
Their humble transport
Will be rev'd to d...

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Wednesday 4th February 2015 9:27 pm

Humour   social commentary

A Bit More Choke And The Car Would Have Started

by Chris Briggs

 
This is a problem
That affects the masses
The quick release
Of intestine gases
 
But how do we get
To this situation?
It starts in the mouth
With mastication
 
A mouthful of food
A taste sensation
You chew and you chomp
Gastro delectation
 
One final chew
Before you swallow
Eye up your plate
Another forkful to follow
 
Then into th...

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Wednesday 4th February 2015 9:21 pm

humour   wind

Writer's Block

by Chris Briggs

Need to get started
Got so much to write
Put pen to paper
Just keep writing shite
I've tried all the tricks
Walked round the room
Made a cup of tea
No va-va-va-voom
Still sitting here now 
Not sure what to do
Stuck for ideas
Not a fucking clue
Oh, hang on a mo
One has come in now
Nope Wonderstuff lyrics
"The size of a cow"
I'm trying too hard
...

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Monday 26th January 2015 8:38 pm

comedy   Humour

Bunfight At The Kerbside Corral

by Chris Briggs

 

She stands at the kerbside
It's what she does best
Stopping the traffic
In her high vis vest 
 
She scans all around
Through silted eyes
Never once blinking
Sight set on the prize
 
A battle of wills
Is the name of the game
Everyday is different
Yet always the same
 
She rocks too and fro
On the balls of her feet
Sideways glances
Up and do...

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Tuesday 20th January 2015 4:53 pm

driving   Humour   school

Spirit Of Christmas

by Chris Briggs

 

Christmas fun, christmas cheer
It comes around every year
Presents, tree and food to buy,
It's more expensive, the questions why?
Smellies for mum, a tie for dad,
What about the kids? Let's not go mad.
Christmas morning kids awake
Bleary eyed parents their beds vacate
Christmas wrapping torn to shreds
Whilst sensible folk are still in bed 
Who bought that for who...

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Tuesday 20th January 2015 7:55 am

Christmas   humour

Fuck it, I’m indecisive

by Chris Briggs

I need to make a decision
And make it fucking quick
A matter life or death
It’s making me feel sick
 
It’s really not that hard
This thing I need to do
A very simple choice
Number one or number two
 
I see the merits of both
From my view on the fence
I must fall on one side
Before I can recommence
 
They’re starting to get painful
These splinters in ...

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Monday 19th January 2015 10:15 pm

frustration   humour   Indecisions

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